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Top Dumbemployed

At work today, I watched while my coworker negotiated with a client. We sell air conditioning supplies and parts to restaurants and stores. Exciting! Anyway, to close the deal, he decided to throw in a freebie: a $25 Chilis gift card. That closed a $5,000 order. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/23/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (14) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( negotiating restaurant chilis )

At work today, I was reorganizing my cubicle when my cubicle neighbor peered over. He asked me, very politely, to stop reorganizing my cubicle. I asked him why. He said he was trying to take a nap and didn't want to be disturbed. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/22/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (13) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( cubicles nap coworkers are crizazy )

At work today, I came in at about 9AM to see a bunch of balloons hanging around the office. My supervisor was sitting at his desk smiling. I asked him why there were so many balloons, and he said we were celebrating being the least wasteful branch. With 200 balloons. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/24/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (13) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( balloons wasteful environmentally unsafe )

At work today, we began calling former clients who had left the company. Let's just say it isn't fun. My boss gave us a pep talk before we started. "Imagine they're your ex-wife." Then he frowned. "But she's not sleeping with a  twenty one year old." We all nodded in silence. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/18/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (12) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( ex-wives clients nodding in silence )

At work today, we had a family come in to pick out a casket. I always try to be as sensitive as possible to people getting funerals. These people, however, didn't seem to care. The reason? They'd struck gold with the inheritance. That doesn't mean they got a nice casket though. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/24/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (12) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( casket funeral inheritance )

At work today, I began researching every city our company could start a new office in. The list was pretty short since we can't go anywhere cold (we sell pools). Anyway, I finally got to Miami. My boss said it was no good because people are already used to the heat there. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/21/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (11) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( researching miami heat )

At work today, I was listening to "Mo Money Mo Problems" behind the register. A guy with a sweater around his neck came up to me. "That must be the nice thing about working here," he said. "You probably don't have to worry about money problems." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/18/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (11) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( mo money mo problems sweater jerk )

At work today, I was looking through logs of the people who have visited my company's website. One person reached us by searching for "Cat Stevens Sex Tape." I have no idea how- we  sell medical supplies. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/19/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (11) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( logs cat stevens medical supplies )

At work today, I spent almost my entire shift watching TV waiting for a call. I'm a fireman. The weird thing is that "Backdraft" and "Rescue Me" were both on TV today. It's like I got my work done by watching other people do it. I'm dumbemployed.

by tbe_ooc on 03/24/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( tv backdraft fireman )

At work today, I was showing a youngish girl a new wine we received earlier this week. She asked what went well with it, and I told her a few dinner items. She seemed interested- until she spoke.  She asked me what would go best with Doritos. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/18/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( wine doritos girl )

At work today, I finally met our boss's girlfriend. If you could call her that. Our boss is in his forties, and this girl is still in college. That would be fine- if she were at least attractive or smart. I had to remind her of the name of our company. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/23/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( girlfriend college ugly )

At work today, my boss gave me the great news that I'm going to be transferred from Dubuque to New York City. I was jumping up and down for a while. Then he shifted some papers. "Whoops," he said. "That was for Kim, not Karen." Karen and Kim don't even sound alike! I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/19/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( transfers dubuque new york )
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