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Top Dumbemployed

At work today, I was delivering pizzas as usual. The drag was that I had to use a bicycle instead of my beat up car. I got honked at twice for the way I was holding the pizza. Then somebody pulled up beside me and asked for a slice. That's not how it works. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/20/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( pizza delivery bicyclists )

At work today, I was stocking peas in the freezer and overheard an old man talking to his wife. "I wan't you to freeze my head in something like this when I die," he said. "Cryogenical. It's the future." She just nodded her head in silence and got a frozen pizza. I'm dumbemployed.

by wallydarling on 10/19/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( cryogenics peas freezer )

At work today, I was refreshing my stock portfolio instead of working. Typical. And, of course, it wasn't going very well. By the time the markets closed, I realized I hadn't done any work. Great. Now I'm doing overtime as my stocks crash. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/20/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( stock refreshing crash )

At work today, someone asked me how much a FIVE DOLLAR fill up box is. I am surrounded by dumb customers. I'm dumbemployed.

by AllieOnly on 10/22/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( five dollar fill up dumb )

At work today, as a gimmick, I had an image of the "Blue Screen of Death" as my desktop background. As my computer started up, my boss saw it and freaked out, thinking it was the real deal and, in his panic, yanked the power cord out of the computer, damaging the power source. I'm dumbemployed.

by officemonkey on 10/21/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( blue screen of death computer unplugged )

At work today, the cash registers were all busted. Typical. We were forced to do all our calculations with a calculator. My calculator had a "2" button that didn't work. That's bad, but not impossible. Oh, the "+" didn't work either. That's a bit tougher. I'm dumbemployed.

by simplycourt on 10/17/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( calculator cash register plus )

At work today, we needed to find somebody to speak Spanish to a delivery guy who was in Guatemala. The guy needed directions. We used a translation service to help him. And we apparently sent him 30 miles from any city in the country. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/22/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( guatemala spanish directions )

At work today, the mailman was loitering outside our building for a while. He wasn't smoking or resting. Turns out he was examining a butterfly for 20 minutes. Through rain, sleet, and snow they deliver. But butterflies are another matter. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/20/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( mailman butterflies loitering )

At work today, some kids were having a birthday party in our restaurant. The mom had me set three extra places for each of them. "They're for Astrid's imaginary friends," she said. Hey, as long as the imaginary friends are paying, it's fine by me. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/19/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( birthday imaginary friends places )

At work today, someone called down to the front desk saying that they'd lost their Blackberry. We have a bin of lost stuff, so I asked what their phone looked like. "It's uh…" they started, "Black and stuff?" Then they got scared and hung up. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/19/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( blackberries lost and found liars )

At work today, they had us tagging a bunch of museum artifacts. It was dorkfest, but pretty fun. Turns out though that there's a rule to the tags. You have to put them on right side up. I have to redo 1,100 stamps now. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/19/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( tags museum stamps )

At work today, I was taking a three minute coffee break when my boss came by looking steamed. "Don't go to Starbucks next time." That was weird. I just had water in my hands. He was still mad at me. Then he got fancy coffee somewhere else. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/18/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( construction starburks coffee )
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