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Top Dumbemployed

At work today, a coworker arrived an hour late and took a 45 minute break during a shift that was originally five hours. You do the math. Two hours before his shift ended he asked if he could leave an hour early. Sad thing is, he's never been written up. I'm dumbemployed.

by Coolerking on 09/16/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (14) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( work coworkers break )

At work today, the final shoe dropped. We aren't supposed to talk to coworkers on the line. Now, we aren't even supposed to look at other humans. I am literally a robot now. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/21/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( final shoe looking talking )

At work today, I nicked myself while shaving and cut my neck. I put a bandaid over it. When I came into work, my coworker turned white and pointed at me. "A vampire got you!" she said. I'm not sure if she was joking. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/16/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( vampire shaving bandages )

At work today, I noticed that the fundraising thermometer at our store looked suspiciously high. I asked a cashier about it. "Oh yeah," she said. "I added 10,000 to the count. I thought it'd make everybody a little happier." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/17/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( fundraising thermometer 10 000 )

At work today, we required everyone in the building to get frisked by security. That would be a good idea. But I work in a senior citizens' center. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/22/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( security frisked senior citizens )

At work today, I got to write my first movie review for an alt weekly! I love the idea that I'm getting paid to do it. I love it a little less that my first shift includes 3 movies, all of which made me want to gouge out my eyes. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/17/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( movies reviews gouge )

At work today, a new group of recruits came in. I shave their heads. And then I clean up the hair. At the end of the day, I had 5 garbage bags worth of hair. And that's because I'd thrown five away already. I'm dumbemployed.

by softersins on 09/16/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( hair shave military )

At work today, my supervisor locked himself in his office all day because of a "big project." Later on, we snuck in when he was in the bathroom. His computer screen was set to Match.com. I guess it is important...I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/17/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( online dating project computer monitor )

At work today, I was staffed to fold clothes. The weird thing is that I was folding our "naturally rumpled" line of clothing. So I was making intentionally wrinkled clothes neat. I'm dumbemployed.

by sweetlykhoney06 on 09/21/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( clothes folding wrinkled )

At work today, I was running the attendance desk at our high school. Two students came in with a note "from their mom." The first tell? They'd signed it "Mom." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/17/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( mom note attendance )

At work today, I brought in homemade caramel apples for the store. Later, I heard my boss telling my coworker to "watch out for razor blades." Really? I'm dumbemployed.

by ein_bisschen on 09/18/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( caramel apples razor blades homemade )

At work today, I received an email from a woman in our company. The previous email from her was "I'll get back to you in a sec." That was a month ago. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/19/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( woman email sec )
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