Bosses

At work today, the roads were clogged with ugly traffic. Cars spewing gas. I was with my boss going to a job site. His observation? "Just imagine how many Milfs are on this road right now." I'm a single mom. I was frightened. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my boss was going on and on about playing "Rock Band" and how fun it was. I asked him his high score. He shook his head gently. "Jake, I do it for the music." I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was paying my home power bill at work. My boss saw me on the computer, but he didn't get mad. "You pay our power too?" he asked. "Good, I was hoping that somebody did it." Now I'm waiting for the lights to go off. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I had a pretty good job- I was translating for a Japanese businessman visiting us in Hawaii. I expected to talk about stocks and issues. He wanted to know the best bars. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was washing sheets for students moving into the dorm. One of them yelled at me. "Those need to be crisp!" he shouted. He's 19. I'm 34. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was feeling extraoridinarily woozy. I took a five minute break, and when I came back, my boss handed me a drink. "It'll help," he said. I thought it was medicine. Who knew they even allowed Whiskey at work? I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, we were supposed to wear "formal" black jeans. Mine were dirty, so I wore khakis. My boss actually scolded me for looking like "a snob." Dockers are for snobs at my job. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was still recovering from a Saturday night out. I was resting my head on a shopping cart when my boss tapped my shoulder. "Listen," he said, "if I were you, I'd take some Xanax." I almost took him up on it. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I asked my boss if I could have Christmas Eve off. He asked for "more advance notice." Is three months really not enough notice? What a Scrooge. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I had the honor of cleaning up the bathroom in our roller rink. I brought a lot of soap. Turns out roller skates make way too many people sick to their stomach. I smell like vomit. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, the nervous temp kept hovering over me asking questions. Later, I saw my boss by the bathroom. "By the way," he said, "leave the temp alone." I was dumbfounded. I'm dumbemployed.

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At work today,I was understandably nervous about a meeting with our division chief. We met over coffee. He spent the entire time talking about his golf game. I'm dumbemployed.