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At work today, I took my son with me in order to show him what a hospital looks like. The chief resident came in and said he didn't realize I'd adopted. I told him I hadn't adopted. "Really?" he asked. "Because the kid's actually good looking." I smiled and walked away. I'm dumbemployed.

by m_love_105 on 01/22/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( hospital resident children who are better looking than you are )

At work today, I told my boss that I couldn't do my shift on Friday because of a funeral. He put up the week's schedules and- guess what?- I was working. I told him the problem and he said, "I know, I have Carrie working on Friday." I'm Carrie. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/22/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( funeral schedule nobody can remember my name )

At work today, I told my best friend/coworker that I was finally getting a promotion. She asked my new title, and I told them I was Assistant Vice President. "Oh yeah," she said. "That's what they give you when they can't afford a raise." The worst part is that she's right. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/22/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( promotion raise assistant vice president )

At work today, I started my shift at 7AM. As I was about to leave, my immediate supervisor ran over. "I've got great news! Jane's bowling team is in the finals!" Then she told me that meant I'd be covering Jane's shift. I'm writing this during my fifteen minute break. I'm dumbemployed.

by pandasbamboo06 on 01/22/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( bowling tired i hate bowling i really do )

At work today, I showed up a little hungover (Note to self: Tequla=bad). Anyway, I found out that just for today, I was being promoted to shift manager. I work in construction. It was 87 degrees today and I don't have a water bottle. I'm dumbemployed.

by rabbitorahabbit on 01/21/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( tequila construction water )

At work today, I received three calls from people who were really mad about my company's phone service. Two of them spent half the call asking if I was outsourced (I work in the US). The weird part? They both had Indian last names. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/21/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( telemarketers outsourcing india )

At work today, I prepared 100 letters to mail to potential clients. I'm an intern, so I asked my supervisor if I should send them out. "Did you sign them?" he asked me. I said I didn't because they weren't in my name. "Forge it," he said. Now I have to do it over. I'm dumbemployed.

by workcrafts on 01/21/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( letters intern i am going to forge my resume instead and quit this job )

At work today, I noticed that the store was really empty. I was zoning all the candy bars when my coworker finally showed up. "Why is it so quiet today?" I asked her. She frowned. "Somebody got murdered outside last night." I thought the chalk drawing was a practical joke. I'm dumbemployed.

by gemini_l on 01/21/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( candy grocery murder )

At work today, I managed to cover for a coworker who was running almost twenty minutes late. I yelled at her when she came in. "What's wrong with you!" I shouted. "Daylight savings," she said. Daylight savings was more than a month ago. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/20/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( daylight savings late lies )

At work today, I learned that we're supposed to get a passport and pay for it ourselves. I asked HR why, and they said it's because every employee needs to be ready for an opportunity to "network" abroad. I work in the mail room. A passport costs $100. I'm dumbemployed.

by n0thing_less on 01/20/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( hr corporate networking )

At work today, I got stuck sweeping up clients' hair when I'm only supposed to cut it. I'd finally amassed a mountain of hair when a little kid left his chair. He went to the cleanest part of the floor and shook his head as hard as he could. I picked my broom up again. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/20/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( barber hair cleaning )

At work today, I got laid off (don't cry for me, I'll live). I asked my boss why. He said we don't have enough sales and until things picked up, they had to cut costs. I'm their only sales person and they fired me. I'm dumbemployed.

by aaantoinette on 01/20/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( downsizing sales that darn economy )
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