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At work today, I brought cookies to my desk. Sugar is my happy place. Of course, there were a few cookie crumbs, but whatever. Then I heard about the rat problem. I'm still vacuuming under my desk. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/18/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( cookies sugar rats )

At work today, my wife and I were trying to find me a new work suit. We ended up finding one that fit a little small, but it was nice. I wore it and my coworker asked me if I'd been caught in the rain. "Why?" I asked. He said it looked like my suit had shrunk. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/18/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( wife suit shrunk )

At work today, I gave personal dance lessons to a couple with an older man and younger woman. Surprisingly, the old guy did pretty well, until the tempo picked up. Fortunately, it didn't take long for the ambulance to arrive. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/18/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( dance lessons older man younger woman )

At work today, three bad things happened: 1. I told a customer they had to leave the store. 2. The customer turned out to be my boss's son. 3. It was all on security videotape. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/18/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( three bad things leave son )

At work today, I overheard a mother and her daughter talking in the dressing room. "Mom, it doesn't look good." "I don't care, you're wearing it." "He won't like it." "No boy wouldn't like that lingerie, honey." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/17/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( mother daughter lingerie )

At work today, I emptied out my pockets onto my desk to try and find an extra piece of gum. No dice. But my boss did show up behind me. "Are you having a freak out?" she asked. Apparently, that's what emptying out your pockets means. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/17/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( pockets gum freak out )

At work today, I caught myself humming Beyonce's song "Single Ladies." OK, I'm a little ashamed, but it's a good song. My boss showed up over my shoulder at that moment. "You know, I'm a single lady too," he said. That's right- He. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/17/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( beyonce single ladies ashamed )

At work today, a guy with long messy emo hair came into the office. I asked him if his parent wanted to cosign on his application. "I'm 28," he said. I made him show me ID, with that hair. I'm dumbemployed.

by quiet_tension on 01/17/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( emo hair 28 )

At work today, I tried lasting a little longer at the register without needing to rest my eyes. After a few hours I was covering my eyes between customers. That didn't make as good an impression as you think. My manager didn't pull me off- he just brought shades. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/16/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( register rest eyes )

At work today, the job got to me- I had to take a quick tobacco break. I was outside when I overheard my coworkers talking about me. They were saying that I was so dedicated to the job, I was probably working overtime inside, since they couldn't find me. I had a second cigarette. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/16/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( cigarette break talking )

At work today, booing filled the entire auditorium. I'm an actor, and apparently the audience didn't like my partner's cursing and singing voice. I was left on the stage to continue myself. Call me crazy, but being booed isn't the most encouraging. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/16/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( auditorium booing stage )

At work today, curiosity got to me and I tried out a Crackberry from my coworker. A customer saw me on it and called me out. I told him not to worry- it wasn't mine. "You stole that Blackberry?" he asked me. He was horrified. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/16/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( crackberry blackberry horrified )
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