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At work today, my boss brought a bottle of champagne in and popped the cork. "I'm engaged!" he shouted. We all got out our coffee mugs. But by that time, he was drinking the bottle alone in his office. Congrats. I'm dumbemployed.

by stellibean_xo on 06/23/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( champagne cork engagement )

At work today, I got to drive from our main office to one on the other side of town. My only obstacle: a roundabout. Is it sad that I wasted ten minutes of company time trying to figure it out? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/23/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( office roundabout driving )

At work today, I suggested that it might be a good idea to add condiments to our salad bar. My manager added ketchup. I was thinking salad dressing. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/23/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( ketchup condiments salad bar )

At work today, I heard nonstop about some football game. Then I made the mistake of admitting I don't udnerstand football. Have you ever heard an accountant explain how downs work? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/23/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( football rules accountants )

At work today, by client instructed me to work on a square table. I asked him for the dimensions. "Uh, 3 feet by 2 feet." That's his square. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/22/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( square table dimensions )

At work today, I was told to make my job into "something that excites me." I can only do that if it means quitting. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/22/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( exciting quitting sad )

At work today, my coworker was nice enough to bring me a soda. He was also nice enough to shake it thoroughly beforehand. Guess who got in trouble for an unprofessional appearance? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/22/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( soda shake appearance )

At work today, I was using Skype video conferencing in front of a client. He stopped in his tracks. "Are you from the future?" he asked me. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/22/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( skype videoconferencing future )

At work today, nobody believed me when I said the store was closing. Is my voice that mousy? Because at 9:15, people were still walking around looking at paintings. I need vocal training. I'm dumbemployed.

by vale4ka_ on 06/21/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( mousy paintings vocal training )

At work today, my boss asked me where I got my degree from. I told him my out of state college. "That's not even a real high school," he said with a smirk. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/21/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( degree college high school )

At work today, I actually got in a debate with my boss about dogfighting. My argument: dogfighting is inhumane. His argument: Well, they aren't human, so it doesn't matter if it's inhumane. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/21/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( dogfighting inhumane human )

At work today, a new flyer appeared on the employee bulletin board. It advertised childcare provided by Janice. The only problem is that Janice works the same shifts as all of us. So either she's quitting, or she's bringing her kids to the factory. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/21/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( flyer bulletin board childcare )
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