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At work today, I opened the blinds only to find that it was a cloudy day outside. Bummer. When I turned back to my desk, my boss said that I'd been wasting "valuable company time." He was actually serious. I'm actually depressed. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/20/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( blinds company time depressing )

At work today, the mailman was loitering outside our building for a while. He wasn't smoking or resting. Turns out he was examining a butterfly for 20 minutes. Through rain, sleet, and snow they deliver. But butterflies are another matter. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/20/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( mailman butterflies loitering )

At work today, I was delivering pizzas as usual. The drag was that I had to use a bicycle instead of my beat up car. I got honked at twice for the way I was holding the pizza. Then somebody pulled up beside me and asked for a slice. That's not how it works. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/20/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( pizza delivery bicyclists )

At work today, I was refreshing my stock portfolio instead of working. Typical. And, of course, it wasn't going very well. By the time the markets closed, I realized I hadn't done any work. Great. Now I'm doing overtime as my stocks crash. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/20/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( stock refreshing crash )

At work today, they had us tagging a bunch of museum artifacts. It was dorkfest, but pretty fun. Turns out though that there's a rule to the tags. You have to put them on right side up. I have to redo 1,100 stamps now. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/19/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( tags museum stamps )

At work today, someone called down to the front desk saying that they'd lost their Blackberry. We have a bin of lost stuff, so I asked what their phone looked like. "It's uh…" they started, "Black and stuff?" Then they got scared and hung up. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/19/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( blackberries lost and found liars )

At work today, some kids were having a birthday party in our restaurant. The mom had me set three extra places for each of them. "They're for Astrid's imaginary friends," she said. Hey, as long as the imaginary friends are paying, it's fine by me. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/19/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( birthday imaginary friends places )

At work today, I was stocking peas in the freezer and overheard an old man talking to his wife. "I wan't you to freeze my head in something like this when I die," he said. "Cryogenical. It's the future." She just nodded her head in silence and got a frozen pizza. I'm dumbemployed.

by wallydarling on 10/19/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( cryogenics peas freezer )

At work today, we got worried about a wildfire in the area (in Southern California). A few customers came in with swine flu style masks on. I assumed it was to protect against smoke. Then I asked them- they had no idea there were wildfires. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/18/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( wildfire southern california masks )

At work today, I was taking a three minute coffee break when my boss came by looking steamed. "Don't go to Starbucks next time." That was weird. I just had water in my hands. He was still mad at me. Then he got fancy coffee somewhere else. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/18/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( construction starburks coffee )

At work today, I was on a flight going to Paris. My supervisor asked me to push the beverage card. Then she came up in the opposite direction with hers. Good thing she's not an air traffic controller. We hit each other. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/18/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( flight paris stewardess )

At work today, I had my fifth anniversary party. Hurray. They got cake and everything. Then I was back at my desk reviewing the calendar. I've actually been here six years. I must have made quite the impression. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/18/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( anniversary five six )
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