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At work today, my boss assigned me a new project. I was glad to get something to finally do since I was so bored. Then, an hour later, she announced that I was reassigned. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/16/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( project reassigned bored )

At work today, we cracked open a nice new bottle of wine given by a competing company. My boss and I shared it. I expected to bond over booze. Instead, we drank in absolute silence. Wonderful. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/16/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( wine bottle silence )

At work today, my girlfriend met with me for lunch- where she dumped me. I returned to the office in an understandable funk. My coworker's suggestion? Get a massage from a "girl he knows without a license." I may not talk to him again. Just so I don't accidentally break the law. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/16/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( lunch dumped massage )

At work today, I was licking envelopes. I got through about 100 and thought I'd vomit. Then I looked on my desk and saw the sponge I should have used the entire time. I vomited in my trash can. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/16/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( envelopes licking vomit )

At work today, another coworker emailed me to translate some Spanish for her. See, I pretend that I know Spanish. Unfortunately, Google Translate isn't as good as I originally thought. It told me her client asked to "Purchase seven Guava." I think I'll get caught soon. I'm dumbemployed.

by madefor_me on 07/15/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( translate spanish google )

At work today, the assistant supervisor friended me on Facebook. I decided to clean up the embarrassing pics. I've deleted 124 so far. And I'm only halfway done. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/15/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( facebook pictures embarrassed )

At work today, my cube mate must have thought he was alone. He was singing Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl" to himself. At least, I hope he thought he was alone. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/15/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( katy perry singing cube mate )

At work today, I overheard a coworker yelling to another person. "If Project Runway this season doesn't kill me, then it will make me stronger." Deep. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/15/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( project runway tv overheard )

At work today, I explained to the ordering couple that a gyro is a mixture of lamb and beef meat. "Does lamb come from a pig?" the woman asked. "No Mam," I said, "it comes from a lamb." I'm dumbemployed.

by jerryjerrold on 07/14/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (15) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( gyro lamb pig )

At work today, we took a client out to lunch as usual. He said he didn't know whether to get a beer or not. "I don't know your culture," he told us sheepishly. He's from another state, not another country. Is Michigan really that different from Minnesota? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/14/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( culture beer lunch )

At work today, a client sent me a gift to "thank me for my service and close relationship." It was peanut butter and chocolate truffles. Some close relationship- I'm allergic to peanuts. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/14/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( allergies peanuts gift )

At work today, my boss was pacing her office nervously. I stepped in to see what was wrong. "It's this sales call," she said. "I'm just afraid of what might happen." Turns out she wasn't nervous about the sale- she was nervous if the cute sales guy would ask her out or not. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/14/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( pacing nervous sales guys )
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