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Weird Shift

At work today, it was ugly sweater day at work. Not officially. But everyone was wearing an ugly sweater, so I pretended it was ironic. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/16/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( sweater ugly ironic )

At work today, I relaxed my personal ban on eating chocolate. Not a good idea. I found out two hours later that I still had residue on the corners of my lips. I'm dumbemployed.

by joeyrox22 on 10/14/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( chocolate mess lips )

At work today, the Salvation Army guy continued ringing the bell outside. I called as research. That's when I found out that Santa outside is fake. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/13/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( salvation army bell research )

At work today, werewolves came into work. OK, no, they didn't. But a group of howling girls did. We're selling discounted Twilight posters. Fun. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/12/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( werewolf howling twilight )

At work today, I served a banana split to a couple and gave them two spoons. The weird thing is that then they asked for a fork. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/11/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( banana split spoons fork )

At work today, I thought I'd shaken off the coworker who follows me around asking about Fantasy Football. Then I looked behind my right shoulder. His grin was frightening. I'm being stalked. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/10/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( fantasy football following stalked )

At work today, I saw a weird flaking trail of white along the carpet. The culprit? Mary came back from her vacation to Malibu. And now her skin is peeling. Yuck. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/08/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( sunburn peeling carpet )

At work today, we all gathered in the break room for a pep talk. The pep? Only half of us will be laid off. Hurray. I'm dumbemployed.

by juneyoon on 10/07/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( pep layoffs break room )

At work today, I shared an apple half with one of the interns. It was fine, but as I spit out seeds, I noticed something: he didn't spit out any. I'm working with an intern who eats like an animal. A dumb animal. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/06/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( apples seeds swallow )

At work today, I was taking video of the office for a recruiting video. Every coworker over 40 was completely unable to understand that my Flip Mini was a video camera. At least they acted more embarrassing. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/05/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( video flip mini camera )

At work today, I had to call the receptionist three times asking if I had mail. The third time, she relented and told me I had it. A pink slip. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/04/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( receptionist mail pink slip )

At work today, a parade was going on outside the restaurant. At the end of the day, I checked the window. Somehow, there was a trombone imprint on the outside. I cleaned it as well as I could. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/02/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( parade trombone stain )
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