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Weird Shift

At work today, I bought a few new stamps for office mail consumption. Lickless of course. After buying them, I realized I may not have made the most professional choice. Who knew they made "KISS" Stamps? So much for no tongue. I'm dumbemployed.

by jellolicious on 04/18/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( kiss stamps tongue )

At work today, the stars were twinkling during the last night at the drive in. And I am working the snack area. My hands are permanently coated with canola oil. I look forward to seeing the night air. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/18/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( twinkling stars canola )

At work today, I called a restaurant to order a gift card for a client. She asked me for the "To" and "From." I said, "To Tom, from Citi" (the bank). She asked for my last name, and I gave it, and I asked her if she needed my first name too. She replied, "It's Citi. Right?" I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/16/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( citi gift cards bank )

At work today, I was given a plunger to "have some fun and fix problems." I succesfully unclogged the toilet. That's when my boss admitted he's the one who did it. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/15/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( plunger clogged toilet )

At work today, I was working on test questions for my students. It was a multiple choice test. I felt compelled to put "Pizza" as D for every one. The sad thing is that I'm sure a lot of students will be drawn to it regardless. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/15/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( pizza teacher tests )

At work today, I decided to break my coffee addiction and replace it with Red Bull. I may have missed the point. My tongue is a strange color and I have had a few hallucinations. The bad part? I'm still so, so bored. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/12/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( red bull coffee bored )

At work today, about half of the kids in my class were pretending to be vampires. Have you ever seen a first grader claim to be a "messenger of the undead"? It's a little creepy. Especially when it seems authentic. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/12/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( vampire first grade kids )

At work today, I gave a massage to a first time client. He showed up and stripped right away. And in a bag, he had a special oil. Who brings their own oil? I was scared to even touch it. I'm dumbemployed.

by ua_zraki on 04/10/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( massage client oil )

At work today, I gave a tour of the factory floor to a group of temps we hired. one raised his hand. "Excuse me," he said, "but where exactly is the gym?" It's a factory kid, not a health club. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/09/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( factory floor gym )

At work today, I was daydreaming when I saw a mosquito hit the window. he hit it again and again. Trust me body, you don't want to come inside here. I'm banging my head on the window trying to get out. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/07/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( mosquito window head )

At work today, there was a news story about some hick who thought he'd seen aliens. My coworker and I were laughing. "Man," he said, "I'm glad those aliens didn't get me." That's not why I was laughing. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/07/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( hick aliens laughing )

At work today, I almost broke my finger. How? I was replacing the water cooler and nearly smashed my finger into the whole. I'm glad I didn't- I don't think many people would want to drink that. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/04/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( broke finger water cooler )
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