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Weird Shift

At work today, I took an extra long bathroom break due to tacos at lunch. When I emerged, the position of the sun had changed since I went in. And yet I still rather would have eaten another taco than go back to work. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/12/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( bathroom tacos break )

At work today, I asked my coworker to cover for me at the front. I found him smoking outside next to me two minutes later. "What's wrong with you?" I asked. "I figured since all you do is smoke," he said, "that's what you wanted me to cover." Touche. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/11/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( cover smoke cigarette )

At work today, my coworker gave me what he called "declassified materials." The materials? A brochure from 1994. I didn't ask why he was acting like we were spies. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/09/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( declassifed materials brochures )

At work today, I played the 12-1 shift at a Potbelly restaurant. I sit up in a perch, play guitar, and wait for someone to hear me. I'm still waiting. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/08/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( potbelly 12-1 guitar )

At work today, I finally ended my two year relationship with coffee. Naturally, today turned out to be "free coffee" day at the office. I'm having an affair with caffeine yet again. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/07/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( coffee free caffeine )

At work today, I tweeted from my work computer. A few moments later, I had an email from the IT department. They were threatening to suspend my account. Am I in high school or something? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/06/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (1) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( work computer twitter tweeting )

At work today, I found out we'll be decorating our conference rooms. Cool! Then I found out we'll be doing it on our own time on the weekends. Less cool. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/04/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( conference room decorations weekend )

At work today, I found out I'll be TAing another semester of English 101. Should it really be called English 101 when the students can barely write? I'm dumbemployed.

by oalljo on 12/03/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( ta college english )

At work today, my girlfriend came into the coffee shop. First, she acted lovey dovey. Then she asked me to create an incredibly complex drink. For free. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/02/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( coffee shop girlfriend complex )

At work today, my wife decided to reorganize the garage while I was at work. Once I got home, she wanted me to move everything back. It's like I have two jobs. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/30/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( garage organize two shifts )

At work today, I called my mom during my fifteen minute break. That's when my coworkers started playing "The Penis Game." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/29/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( break fifteen the penis game )

At work today, I thought I'd play Elvis Presley over the store intercom. The sad thing is that it went on for twenty minutes before I got caught. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/28/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( elvis presley store intercom )
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