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At work today, I noticed that this real old guy was flirting with me when he gave me his gym membership card. I could see hair coming out his ears. Whatever. Later I get a call that the sauna is broken and go down there. Guess who is naked and only wearing a smile? I'm dumbemployed.

by st_virgo on 02/23/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( gym sauna naked )

At work today, we had a customer come in asking to have guards assigned to his boat in our marina. He was sweating and panicking. "I need to protect against pirates!" he yelled. Our marina is on Lake Michigan. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/22/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( boat marina pirates )

At work today, we started giving rock climbing classes to kids. At the end of a lesson, a parent walked up to me. "I want a refund." I asked her why. She pointed at the climbing wall. "These aren't even real rocks!" She was serious. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/21/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( rock climbing parents gym )

At work today, I was making subs par usual. Well, I had one guy come up and just stare at me. "You're pretty," he said. "Can I get you anything, sir?" He just kept staring. I made him a pastrami in hopes he'd have a heart attack. He accepted and paid for it. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/19/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (12) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( sandwiches creep pastrami )

At work today, I concluded an experiment with this coffee shop customer that has a crush on me. Every day, I switch whether I say “I’ll give you room for cream,” or “No room for cream?” No matter what I say, he agrees with me every time. I’ll have to offer him ketchup next time. I’m dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/19/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( coffee shop cream ketchup )

At work today, I had a customer who ordered a vanilla sundae with hot fudge topping, caramel on the side, sprinkles, Oreo cookies mixed in, and chocolate covered bananas on top. "Anything else?" I asked. "Yeah," she said, wheezing. "Make it low fat." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/18/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( ice cream oreos low fat )

At work today, I was stocking shelves when a customer came up to me and asked what aisle Graham Crackers are in. I told them they were in this aisle. She looked at me confused. "But what's the aisle number?" I told her the number of the aisle we were in and she promptly left. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/18/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (11) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( grocery graham crackers aisle )

At work today, I was renting out bikes to people touring the park. We are required by law to give everybody a helmet. A weird guy came along with a five year old. I gave them their bikes and helmets and, as they rode away, I watched them both throw theirs in the bushes. I'm dumbemployed.

by wanderwiccan on 02/17/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( bikes helmets kids )

At work today, I had a guy who wanted a "McHotDog." I told him we didn't have those. "I've had em," he yelled. I told him again. "I've had one!" he shouted. I eventually convinced him. "Fine," he said. "Give me a McPizza." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/17/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( hot dog yelling pizza )

At work today, I was repairing a guy's laptop. I opened it and noticed the back of it had three bumper stickers taped on. They were all for different political parties. The problem? His Ron Paul sticker was blocking his computer's fan. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/14/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( laptop computer ron paul )

At work today, a bunch of stupid teenagers came into the restaurant and used way too many sugar packets. I joked that the packets cost a dollar each and that they’d be in big trouble. Next thing I looked back and they were gone. But they’d left 12 bucks on the table. I’m dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/12/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( teenagers sugar restaurant )

At work today, I had one of my students stay after class. I have to get them to passing level for state tests coming up. he did fine on the math portion, but on the reading he was terrible. I asked him what happened. "I think I forgot how to read," he told me. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/11/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( school class reading )
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