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Customers

At work today, a Jewish customer came into the restaurant and asked if we had anything that was Kosher. My brother in law is Jewish, so I understand. But we are "Patty's Pork Place." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/11/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( jewish kosher pork )

At work today, I had to talk to one of our tenants about his rent being late. Of course, the only time I see him is when he comes back from his "run." Judging by his shirtless physique, he doesn't run much. But I still had to spend ten minutes talking to his chest hair. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/11/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( tenants rent shirtless )

At work today, I was about to give a customer a massage. He disrobed in about ten seconds. He leered at me. "Oil me up." I left the room and checked my appointment book. He was here for a facial massage. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/08/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( massage disrobing facial )

At work today, I sold a pack of medicine to a young kid. I heard him talking to his friend on the way out. "A few more of these, and we'll be meth dealers." I looked at the receipt he left. I'd sold him childrens' Tylenol. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/08/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( tylenol meth children )

At work today, there were a few really interesting people who walked in. I was pretty psyched and figure I'd find a friend for the first time in Kansas. I asked them if they needed help. "Yeah," one said. "I'm from NY. Get me the hell out of Kansas." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/06/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (11) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( kansas psyched ny )

At work today, I sold the first Barbie doll I've sold in a while. It had a cute red sparkly dress, which was really cool. And the kid was excited. He was an eight year old boy. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/05/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( barbie dress cute )

At work today, I brought a beer with me to work and guzzled it before my shift. Whatever. Anyway, when I left, one of the guys whose cars I was fixing came by. He said I smelled like chocolate. It was a Guinness. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/03/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( beer chocolate mechanic )

At work today, a customer came out of our restaurant's bathroom shouting that the service was unacceptable. She had a French accent and I asked her what was wrong. "It is not a third world country! Where is the bidet?" I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/03/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( restaurant french bidet )

At work today, I kept blanking on the name of one of our customers. Finally, I decided to just go ahead and risk it. "Hi Sheryl," I said on a hunch. She stared back at me. "Sheryl's my daughter. Thank you for the compliment!" I still don't know her name though. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/01/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( sheryl names hunch )

At work today, people kept coming in to the store and milling around creepily. I didn't understand why, but then I saw "Missed Connections" on Craigslist. Turns out this record store is the hottest pickup spot in the city. Of course, I'm single. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/30/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( missed connections craigslist milling )

At work today, I was selling roadside tomatoes. It was darn hot and nobody was driving by. We finally had one guy pull in with a beautiful woman and a fancy car. Then he started haggling with me over the price. I gave in. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/28/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( tomatoes haggling fancy car )

At work today, a few teenagers were giggling in the toiletry section of our grocery. I'm pretty sure they were stoned out of their gourds. How do I know? Well, they were wearing toilet paper on their head and spinning in circles. That was my first clue. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/28/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( teenagers stoned toilet paper )
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