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Just Dumb

At work today, a few of my coworkers decided we should all go out to lunch. I don't drink. That's not the case for my coworkers. They had four martinis. Each. I was carrying them back to work. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/20/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( lunch drinking martinis )

At work today, I hit a bit of a wall. To try and break my slump, I took a stroll around the neighborhood. When I came back in, the office doors were locked. Everyone else must have hit a wall too. The day ended at 3PM. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/19/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( wall walk closed )

At work today, I caught a case of the hiccoughs. Not really a big deal, right? It only took about a minute for me to get better and then I was breathing normally. The only problem? I'm an actor and I was on stage. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/17/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( actor hiccoughs stage )

At work today, I was supposed to watch the subway turnstiles to make sure none of the people jumped them. I saw somebody and started chasing after him but got stopped by my coworker. "Don't mind him," he said. "That's my brother." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/17/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( turnstiles subway nepotism )

At work today, the scatterbrained intern was filing some of my contracts. Apparently, colleges aren't as good as they used to be. He seemed to think the letter G comes before F. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/15/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( scatterbrained intern organize )

At work today, I discovered some very mysterious pills in the refrigerator. I worked in HR, so I immediately reported it to my superior. He took the bottle of pills and unscrewed it. Inside? Tylenol. I'm dumbemployed.

by hagaren_06 on 02/14/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( hr pills tylenol )

At work today, I was a little lazier than I should be. Whatever. You don't need to clean under the counters every day. Well, I don't need to. My friend Callie did- and she found a whole mess of rat droppings. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/12/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( lazy counters rats )

At work today, my glass was half empty. Literally. I went to the kitchen faucet to fill it up and was waiting for cool water. When I left, my coworker was scowling at me. "What about the environment?" she asked me. It was ten seconds at the faucet. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/11/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( glass water environment )

At work today, I decided that instead of asking for a five dollar bill as a cover charge, I'd ask for a high five. It seems like a cute idea, right? Well, only about 2 people understood what it was. The rest were too drunk. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/09/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( five dollar cover high five )

At work today, my bike kept breaking down (I'm a bike delivery guy). I was fixing the chain on the side of the road when I heard a random shout. I looked up – an empty soda can was flying at my face. Cars don't like me. At least I recycled the can. I'm dumbemployed.

by bastix on 02/09/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( bike delivery soda )

At work today, my coworker was typing an email. "Is there an 'h' in 'water'?" he asked me. I asked if he meant in the molecular formula. "No," he said. "In the word 'water'." I'm dumbemployed.

by mlevindofske on 02/08/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (13) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( water h2o spelling )

At work today, there was a Maxim magazine in the stall of the Men's restroom. Later, I found three full pages of bikini girls. Ripped out. I'm dumbemployed.

by mlevindofske on 02/07/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( bikini magazines ripped )
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