Customers

At work today, my coworker was giving a customer directions to our competition. I asked him what he was doing. "Oh, I actually sent them to the ghetto." That's good business. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I detected the nastiest smell in my checkout line. But that's not unusual. Every day is like that: I work at a baby store. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, a customer requested that we give him a copy of the instruction manual for a washer. I asked for the receipt. "Well, of course, I didn't buy the washer here." I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I saw one of my student's parents at the grocery. I said hi. I got a scowl. I guess she didn't recognize me. Or, worse, she did. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was waiting at the cash register for a customer. There were 5 of them. But they all chose self-checkout over me. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I enjoyed being rejected by a few people I asked out. I understand, I guess, that maybe it was inappropriate. It is an unwritten rule I shouldn't ask out the doctor's patients. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was stuck inside all day during one of the most beautiful last days of summer. I asked a customer how it was outside. "Eh," he said. "I just stayed in and watched TV." I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I had a short conversation with the woman in line at our puzzle store. She was saying how strange it was that her son was so violent. I rang her up. She was buying a WWII game and a World of Warcraft puzzle. I have a guess on the violence thing, lady. I'm dumbmemployed.

At work today, I asked these Southern tourists what kind of custard they'd like. "Oh, we'll take the ice cream flavored one," the woman said. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, after throwing out a thief who tried to get a refund on defective merchandise that they admitted not paying for, the corporate office called and wrote me up for treating a "customer" so poorly. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I had someone try to return a defective item without a receipt. After explaining that I could not find where she had paid for the item in the last 9 months, she yelled back and said "It's not my fault you people didn't catch me!" I'm dumbemployed.

At work today at the bank, a customer kept hitting the buzzer at the drive thru window. I finished waiting on another customer (during the constant buzzing) and walked over to the drive thru to find a priest. "Thank you for your patience, Father." I'm dumbemployed.