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Top Dumbemployed

At work today, I found out my nickname around the office. See, I am a really happy, giddy person. And I thought that people found it infectious and might call me "Cheery" or "Perky Guy." I was wrong. My nickname is Sir Stinksalot. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/18/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( sir stinksalot nicknames giddy )

At work today, I admit it- I left a nasty note in the suggestion box. As always, my boss read them all aloud. Or most of them. He eventually got to mine, but told us that the suggestion was "anatomically impossible." A job well done. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/18/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( suggestion box anatomy notes )

At work today, I got into work around 7PM. Night shift. Of course, the problem with that is all the customers bragging how their long days are over. Then I tell them mine's just started. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/19/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( 7pm night shift bragging )

At work today, I wiped down some of the gym machines. Most are gross because of sweat. But then I got to the leg press. Are children allowed in the gym? Because I found a lollipop stuck to the seat. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/19/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( gym machiens lollipop )

At work today, I felt weird coming in, since I had an...interesting dream about my boss. I don't think he'd mind the end of the dream. But in the beginning, he was wearing sheer black stockings. I can't look at him anymore. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/18/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( dream sheer stockings )

At work today, I was told to make my job into "something that excites me." I can only do that if it means quitting. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/22/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( exciting quitting sad )

At work today, by client instructed me to work on a square table. I asked him for the dimensions. "Uh, 3 feet by 2 feet." That's his square. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/22/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( square table dimensions )

At work today, nobody believed me when I said the store was closing. Is my voice that mousy? Because at 9:15, people were still walking around looking at paintings. I need vocal training. I'm dumbemployed.

by vale4ka_ on 06/21/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( mousy paintings vocal training )

At work today, I heard nonstop about some football game. Then I made the mistake of admitting I don't udnerstand football. Have you ever heard an accountant explain how downs work? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/23/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( football rules accountants )

At work today, I realized two things. First, running with scissors really is a bad idea. Second, I definitely should have gotten corporate healthcare. Do you think I can bandage my own headwound? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/17/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( running scissors headwound )

At work today, a new flyer appeared on the employee bulletin board. It advertised childcare provided by Janice. The only problem is that Janice works the same shifts as all of us. So either she's quitting, or she's bringing her kids to the factory. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/21/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( flyer bulletin board childcare )

At work today, a customer came into the store with army gear on. Our owner came in and paid his respects. "Oh no man," he said. "I just like the clothes." Then the owner kicked him out. I admit that I liked it, but he was one of our only customers. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/20/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( army gear clothes kicked out )
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