Register | About | RSS RSS | Login

Weird Shift

At work today, I spoke to a client from the South. Every time I do that, I lapse into a Southern accent. Did you know that "all y'all" is proper grammar? Because apparently, I do. I kept saying it all day. I'm dumbemployed.

by gabiibasha on 07/30/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( all y'all south accents )

At work today, I cleared out all the drawers in my desk, just to clean. I found an old paycheck and a roach motel. It somehow seems symbolic that the two were together. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/30/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (1) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( roach traps paycheck cleaning )

At work today, my boss announced that he felt like he knew me well enough to use a nickname. He's calling me "Tim" now. My name is Thomas. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/28/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( tim thomas nicknames )

At work today, I reviewed a chart of my raises and inflation over the past 5 years. Turns out I've been losing money every year. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/27/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( raise inflation losing )

At work today, I asked my coworker if he thought a recent sale on plasma TVs was due to the economy. "No," he said. "I think it's because people have less money." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/18/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( economy money plasma )

At work today, my girlfriend met with me for lunch- where she dumped me. I returned to the office in an understandable funk. My coworker's suggestion? Get a massage from a "girl he knows without a license." I may not talk to him again. Just so I don't accidentally break the law. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/16/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( lunch dumped massage )

At work today, I was licking envelopes. I got through about 100 and thought I'd vomit. Then I looked on my desk and saw the sponge I should have used the entire time. I vomited in my trash can. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/16/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( envelopes licking vomit )

At work today, I was handed a DVD that was wet and smelled like dog pee. When I went to talk to the man who had returned it to ask him to be more careful with his items, he proceeded to say, "We don't have a dog. My son likes to pee on things."
I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/13/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( dvds dogs pee )

At work today, I was praying before my lunch when a secretary sat in front of me. "Are you hands ok?" she asked. "They're folded funny." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/12/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( praying lunch secretary )

At work today, I served a man a side of fries as an appetizer. I asked what he wanted for a meal. "More fries," he said plainly, as if that were the usual thing people did. He used a half bottle of ketchup, too. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/12/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( fries appetizer ketchup )

At work today, the BTO classic "Taking Care of Business" came on the radio. Everybody started dancing. The one thing we weren't doing was taking care of business. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/10/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( bto radio taking care of business )

At work today, I saw my desk neighbor's online dating profile. It looked nice. He's also married. And his wife works on the floor above us. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/09/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( neighbor online dating wife )
Username:

Password:

Remember: