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Weird Shift

At work today, the third crisis happened. It's the perfect storm. First, we had a broken window. Second, our heat broke. And today, it started raining.

by anonymous on 06/09/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( crisis window heat )

At work today, I thought I'd switch things up and try smiling non-stop. You know, they say you can convince yourself to be happy by doing it. I lasted three minutes. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/07/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( smiling three minutes convince )

At work today, my coworker Karen showed me pictures of the niece. In half of them, she was crying. I asked why. "She hates the flash," Karen said. "And the screaming, of course." I didn't ask. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/06/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( karen pictures flash )

At work today, we announced our acquisition by a European mega-company. Ugh. We've already been told that "email format is going to change". I don't even know what our email format is now! I'm dumbemployed.

by enyx_delamorte on 06/04/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( european mega-company acquisition )

At work today, there were about three new people milling around the back room. I talked to them eventually. One of them was employee. The other two were just lost. I let them continue looking around, though. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/04/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( milling back room lost )

At work today, I finished an internet project that took way too long. I updated my Facebook profile. That counts as work, right? I certainly did it at work. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/02/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( facebook profile update )

At work today, the newest version of our corporate enterprise software came out. It turns out it's not the best stuff. And it's all in French. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/01/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( enterprise software french translate )

At work today, I started hearing a new ringtone across the hallway. It was the new Jay Z single that's been playing everywhere. The culprit? Donald- who is a 64 year old Vietnam vet. I think I'm in love. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/29/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( ringtone jay-z veteran )

At work today, I finally cleaned off my computer monitor using tissues from the bathroom. My monitor turned out to be pretty dirty. I had to make 3 trips for more tissues. And it still looks fuzzy. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/26/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( computer monitor cleaning tissues )

At work today, my friend called my cell phone at work. I couldn't answer because I was on the clock. That didn't stop him from calling 7 more times. The emergency? He wanted to ask if I'd ever seen "Con Air." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/26/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( cell phone con air call )

At work today, I wrote a "Happy Anniversary" card for one of my employees. I intended it for his fifth anniversary with the company. But he came into my office crying. "Me and Betty are getting a divorce," he said. Whoops. Bad choice of words. I'm dumbemployed.

by sweet_fire_fly on 05/24/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( happy anniversary fifth anniversary divorce )

At work today, I approached my job with a new sense of certainty. I will do what I want, when I want, how I want to do it. My first order of business? A long nap on the reception area couch. I think my new certainty is that I'll be fired soon. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/23/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( certainty nap receptionist )
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