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Weird Shift

At work today, we discovered some interesting documents in the trash. Notes between secretaries about how they were looking for new jobs. Apparently, they don't think they'll keep their current ones. The problem is that I'm their boss. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/13/24 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( notes trash secretary )

At work today, an elderly man browsed through our selection of our vitamin store for almost an hour. Finally, he came to the front cash register where I was and wheezed out a question. "Excuse me," he said. I told him to go ahead, and he did. "Where are the cookies?" I'm dumbmployed.

by anonymous on 03/10/24 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( cookies old people vitamins )

At work today, I was wearing a band-aid in the kitchen due to a small cut from the night before. That didn't go over well. I got chewed out for uncleanliness. What do they want me to do? Take the bandaid off? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/10/24 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( band-aid kitchen cut )

At work today, there seemed to be a popcorn smell in the building. I followed it. Turns out somebody had put rice in the microwave- it was cooking for minute 22 of 30. I rescued it before the kitchen was totally set on fire. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/08/24 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( popcorn rice microwave )

At work today, everybody was talking around the water cooler. That's because it was broken. A steady stream of water poured out the side of the cooler and onto the carpet. We were standing there to keep the hole plugged. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/07/24 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (11) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( water cooler broken hole )

At work today, I literally prayed that I'd get some relief from the tedium of my job. Anything, I said, anything at all. I got it. Turns out our store is closing at the end of the month. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/04/24 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( praying closing tedium )

At work today, I got a phone call from an old high school buddy. I always thought he was an idiot, and the call proved me right. He asked for a job as a nurse. He's never been trained. I told him I'd let him know. I'm dumbemployed.

by pacis_diligo on 03/04/24 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( nurse high school hospital )

At work today, I heard strange noises coming from the bathroom. I went to check and one guy came out of the stall. "Sorry," he said. "Mexican." He ran away. He was lying- thirty seconds later, the second guy came out. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/01/24 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (12) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( bathroom noise mexican )

At work today, my sister insisted that I call her "as soon as possible." I snuck under my desk and called her from there. Her emergency wasn't quite as bad as she'd made it sound. She was panicking because her Tivo didn't work. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/29/24 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (12) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( tivo call desk )

At work today, I left for my vacay. Huzzah! Sadly, taking a vacay means that somebody else has to take over. That person? An 18 year old who can barely add. He's the next in line for my job. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/26/24 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (12) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( vacation charge 18 )

At work today, I went into the parking lot at the same time as this pleasant woman I work with. It turned out our cars were next to each other. I was charmed. Then she hit my car while backing out. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/26/24 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (11) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( parking lot hit car )

At work today, I got a little distracted. Outside, there was a carwash being held to benefit the community college. These girls may not be smart. But they sure know how to wash cars. I wanted to have their job instead of my own. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/23/24 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( distracted car wash community college )
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